High Tea for Hard Times

I find myself in the uncomfortable position of having a draft book manuscript coming shortly due and being unsure I can meet the goal. Interestingly, in looking through computer files for other material I stumbled upon this video and the writing from August 5th, 2011. It’s a deeply personal attempt to come to terms with an inability to meet a book proposal deadline, one my heart was deeply committed to and set on, some 11 years ago now. (Damn! I looked younger then!)

And now I find myself once again, uncomfortably, in too similar a position. The part of me that wants to just collapse and give up feels too intimately close. “I’ll never be able to write the book i want anyway!”

And then I remember, it’s not the egoistical part of me that can write the desired book anyway. The book I seek to invite and invoke into being can only arise out of a convergence and alignment of spirit and soul… and ego. I hope these reflections speak to and serve some part of you as well.

High Tea for Hard Times

I am having High Tea this morning. I call it High Tea to distinguish it from how I usually have tea: sitting quietly and then making my lists for the day. And then having another cup or two as I move through the activities of my morning.

But yes, this morning is different. More focused, with a certain intention. I have invited prestigious guests! Yes. I am inviting all the parts of me that I have split off, all the parts of me that I am ashamed of, that I prefer not to look directly into the eyes of, the parts that are Could-Have-Been—If-Only, or Might-Have-Been—If Only, the I-Wish-I-Had, the Shit-Head parts of me and the Dams!

And my successful and achieving parts too. Yes. Come one and come all. You are all invited. I desire to leave not one of you unwelcome to this party. We are after all, I see now, in this Life together like the apple and the seed and the tree. And the Sun and the rain, and the water and soil, and Moon too. They are all a whole. And we too all live together in the ecological weavings of this Self.

And yes. Speaking of self, here come my Judging-and-Comparing parts, the parts of me that would define my identity by being better than or less than others. Sit down with me this morning and have a cup of tea. Take a break for just a little bit at least. You can always go back to work later.

Here. Today I would give you love with your tea today. Yes. Try a sip. You’ve never had such good tea before! And this cup of Love Tea is all yours, and yes, it does grow richer with the sharing too. It’s true.

See? Look! Already here comes ‘Never-Enough. Yes. Welcome. Sit down next to me here on the couch. There is plenty of this tea to go around.

And here is Never-Belong. Welcome. A cup for you too. Yes. And Scared-to-Live, and Inflated-Ego, there is plenty of room for you too. And Shy-Hider, and Shame-of-Body and Afraid-of-Feelings and Lover-of-Sex and Need-Attention and Afraid-of-Others and Better-Than-Others and Need-To and Have-To and Won’t! and Don’t-Be-A-Fool and Afraid-to-Play. And Procrastinator, you too can come, now at last. Yes.

And Never-Finish-That-Book and Never-Make-Money and Never-Have-a-Job and Drink-Your-Self-to-Death and Never-Commit! Yes, you can have just a sip to just try. And oh look; here come Never-Be-Loved!

My what a tea party we are having. And we are just starting to gather I suspect too.

And yes, I am sure of it. This morning there is plenty of tea to go around. And all the love any of you might care to sweeten it with. High Tea it is. And high time we did this too.

And yes. You are welcome too. Please, please sit or stand in the corner, against the wall if you wish, or take to the podium and preach or speak or pray, cry or sing and dance.

You desire a crowd of thousands you say? Need attention? We are here. You want intimacy you say? A good heart to heart? Yes, One-Heart is here, and sitting right next to you too. Right next to Divided-Heart, and Split-Heart and Wounded-Heart, next to Whole-Heart and Clear-Heart and Strong-Heart, next to Week-Heart. Look at that, will you.

I never knew we might all fit in the very same chair this way! But you do all live in the same chest I guess so….

Oh, here’s What-Do-I-Know, coming in with Cock-Sure and Never-Know and Don’t-Know too, and Have-to-Know. I didn’t know you guys all hung out together. And Need-to-Know too. Of course.

Welcome. Welcome.

Now that my heart is opening, and all of you…er us…are here…I don’t know where this might ever stop.

Yes. You might just as well join us too. High Tea for all.

And high time it is too.

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